Memory - Test

Was just reading a book - (and tempted to look at my notes for the names) one chapter relates to a postgrad project of several students who worked together and each one would pick a theme and then speak about it. Afterwards they would write up notes about that experience, those who presented and those who didn't. It was expected people write up in an hour, no more, to stop the self censorship. Interesting, like morning pages and also surrealists.. how do we know what we right is how we feel, what we recall.

Made me comfortable and happy to give myself this again as I worried, after reading some of the notes how badly it was written... who might read it and what they would judge from this. Somehow I seem to have had a few more people read this than I have shared an odd page with..Latvia and Isreal are two areas.

That book was one of 3 I scrimmed earlier, another chunky one called the art of memory. Decided not to take that, due to its weight, its heavy, and full of Greek history on what people did and how and examples across history. It draws me but I can't, don't wish to take all my time up there, however interesting. But would it give me ways of reflecting on how mine works in a historical context and what I could learn from that. I learn with you, through you.

What else today?

Doc lecture and film earlier: PT & Second years
Began with SELF REFLEX FILM - THIN BLUE LINE
I still think its got as much poetry and expos and performative elements as Self Reflexive.

Titles incorperate the thin blue line, as many films I have recently seen, the title visualise and incapsulate the aim and intention of the film. I liked this and thought I might fall asleep in the warmth of the room, and general sleeplessness but it was engaging and the reconstructions worked well as well as the delicious images: The clock, the milkshake thats thrown away, the red light (anger, energy, stop the injustice, circular) repeated and well used. I like the frame within frames of one shot that had us looking into the window framed, and with another frame of the building. I loved the use of text and ECU of typing, it looked beautiful and I want that and have that within 47. Past and present, what you have said and what was done.

The work of the filmmaker was to explore the 'truths', examine them with the camera, through converstion and some previous documentation and in the process of developing relationships unravel the injustice. Within a year Adams was released. The truths that people imagine and have been fed that the moving image, that documentary is the whole truth, as opposed to the constructed, pre determined artifact that it is.

Thought about why re-construct? Take us away from H & S shots, visualise the moment, show not tell. The facts of the case exist in writing but thats not enough to speak and explore with others, visualise it. Breathe in and feed upon it.

I drew shots instead of writing mountains of notes that I do, though I did that too. The process of writing as I hear helps me focus, remember, think, even if I have heard about it. Painfully fast and slow at times..

He was also encouraging us to this arty... what else could this film be about beyond the story, beyond your basic subject. It is a film after all.... I like that, it gives me a pit stop in the battle ground of my mind. I have one heavy part of me that knows that working in the way I would like to will limit the audience.. on another would I be dis honest and going against what I see and feel. I perform resistance daily.. in some many groups and moments... do I wish to create a populist piece on this period? Yes and No, it wouldn't make sense.

Looking inside and out

Memories of a future

Found this film ' Memories of a future' at the BFI yesterday after watching John Ak Msueme... godess of Memory.

A documentary on the memory of the spanish civil war. Why are some things called memory and some news and history?

Who's memory

Sat with a youngster tonight, whilst an elder, over 60 chatted with him. Kind of lectured him... that's what the elders do? Maybe... But he had so many memories, so much to share and for us to learn from. .. can we all still talk to each other?

He argued there wasn't the consciousness today, there wasn't the collective labour movement to share it out, challenge things the way they did. He knew about the general strike at an early age, because of his politics? Maybe? Because that was a time more working class people were in collective environments, more space together. As manufacturing got smashed, and work become more individualised and isolated we grew away from each other, they needed that to control us. Control our selves.. sat staring at shadows.. frightened to move.

If we don't have a memory of the events that are hidden, suppressed, or stolen. What happens, what impact does that have... ? What do we then see, if we don't know the layers behind. Things unseen..

Without you

A little time at the LRC looking through emails yesterday till I got down to what I'd done before meeting Anna R. I went over the list I'd sent her and saying some of that out loud was good. Life brings layers together.

Looking at NSSN conference with the hint of cultural additions, Suzanne Muna added her work as there were more connections, more of a relationship and confidence from her about her work. It was already out there, on covers, on flyer's, she was an artist and had work ready for a mobile exhibition. She is also one of the Defend the 4 hounded by Unison out of her role for 2 years. The others I asked maybe felt less engaged with me or with the works or possibility. But I did it with little efforts and other peoples engagement and practical nature.

Memory keeps reoccurring as a underlying theme, area of discussion and investigation. Interesting, or more interesting to me right now as my working memory is of the lowest 10% for my age group. I have been looking at ways round it with others too, but I have memories. What is it I remember? What I feel? but not dates or statistics or detail. I rarely recall all of that but sometimes general ideas around it all - and it comes out in conversation, it gets deeper and better - and clearer. It can often be clearer and I don't know it till if comes out,, whats bubbling under there....what is there but needs space to breathe and mix up itself as we speak, as I speak, as you speak as we listen and see, and see.

So she's happy with the 47, as she feels I am and says work backwards. I like that, its what I tend to do. Set a gallery screening/event date here and maybe one in Liverpool (WOW?).

Its a lot of work and one shoot of 3 days won't be enough, cant be enough. Last 10 minute piece was shot over 5 days. Then 40 was shot in under 3 hours. So its possible but needs incredible planning. I need to know where I am and where we are in all this from to place, we need a clear schedule - separate some people, a little together, a little apart. especially for women away from men. (Wonder why DC said if it was about memories then KM? Are memories seen as less important? Less Objective? If that's what we remember then in some ways it doesn't matter what happened, its only what we have in our minds, consciousness? How do we see the past, feel the past, create a past? How do we articulate it to others? And which others?

I'm not excited, I'll be honest, but scared. Its such a big project, I cant share it all, but I could open the doors of the stories and see.

Without you 47? Maybe title? What would we do without you? What would we have without you? Parks, Homes, Jobs?

To Do by symposium and next tutorial:

1. I page synopsis
2. Schedule backwards & book gallery May 2011
3. Blog - for assessment needs editing and focus on criteria
4. Schedule for shoot and crew
5. Funding plan & Crowd funding model
6. Connect with Red
7. Reading on memory

Creating a memory

Mainly going to use this for the MA I am doing. Though my MA is also about, and interwoven in, my life. Perhaps a place to REMEMBER? This is the first blog bit I am doing without writing down... I like the feel of paper and how I can write on it.

I found this that I have been sharing with others:

How do people remember

10% of what they read.

20% of what they hear.

30% of what they see.

50% of what they hear and see.

70% of what they say and write.

90% of what they say as they do something.

Previous posts are taken from the black notebook, images taken, odd review and some poems from this year.

So these two days were good, sometimes I wanted to walk away and sometimes I wanted to walk in more, but couldn't... Do I have to understand and engage in every single thing? Or can I sit back sometimes and float away, let the words dance around me... sometimes dance with me.

Scribbles on the Proposal