Later I meet with James, good to catch up on his project, which is and has been very clear.. and mine which is an committed mess. Will I only do what is useful collecively or do I have the courage to step outside that? To step inside the detail and move further. Sometimes I do and that's no bad thing. I have choices again and need to make some decisions.
To help prepare for today, I have read and looked over this whole blog, a tool for reflection too. Not up to date and there is so much more that could go in but its useful as reminders, ongoing questions and focus.
Will listen to the dictaphone of my presentation too later. That should help with reflection and direction - where was I then a month ago, where am I now. What have a done since then? What more do I need to do? I have time, and I do not have time. I have some skills but I also worry too much that it leads to a paralysing fear to do, to commit. What have I really got to loose right now? What and who? Nothing but my own sense of me, relationship to the outside world. Relationship to all of this, come closer, slip into the water and feel it.
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