Tomorrow I'll go see Miros LADDER OF ESCAPE. Have always been drawn to his work but without thinking, why, what is it about it? What does it mean to me? Less 'representational' so the essence of a man, of an idea of a thought, of a question is striving within it. Or did he know what he wanted to say or do before he did it? Is it prepared or a considered response.. and through that response and the process interprations or patterns begin to emerge.
Am looking at jumping between all sets of ideas and going back into the meeting today about building the CWI.. what was said in discussion, processes, what has happened our interaction to who we are and what we do.
I work at things as I go along but there is lots of thinking and the thinking takes time.. how to ease it any and out of that?? Calm this anger and edgy way and ways or maybe its is that I 'm up and I should make the most of where I am right now?
Its not a terrible thing to be awake at 11pm! (yes thats all.!) If I sleep late I can get up later.. . Work with the flow with the engery and the anger.. discomfort of being here and being me right now. I'm annoying and I can ? that or wallow in it? Channel it to cecome.. where next. Talk and think around the revolution or find out about it clearly and precisely.. I am so not precise!
Was thinking of V & J.. Frida and hospital.. What do I do.. you do if this comes in and out of your life so much.. what do you do?
READ JULY DAYS - LENIN
"role of the diary in Fridas work.. and in art history at large"
I don't know my place (this is from morning pages at midnight.. not what I thought I should put here but fuck it) I was brought up with huge invisible and visible boundries yet none.. They were confused with thier own journeys and backgrounds and life fucks so sometimes gave into, gave up..
Each time I', here (with you bits of paper) I find something out about myself and that makes sense of this of me too.
An awkward and defensive person and I dont have to or need to bring to the front of me and all if it was the 6pm coffee??
Perhaps I can make it weaker.. thought it smelt lovely!
Looking back at friday khalo I realised Shelley gave it to me when I was going into hospital..
Pg 10 "She painted.. she was the subject she knew best" - or maybe she was working herself out in the process?
And she goes with intuition.. a liberation.. yes a liberation!
