Words

Fuck of a lot today.. trying to find a way to remember.

WORDS FAIL ME

HURT ME

INSPIRE ME

SEDUCE ME

Lunch at the IMPERIAL war museum

I was looking for light and air.. I came here but felt claustraphobic.. surrounded by white.. that's not unusuaul but I wondered do you see me as the enemy. I think some of you did, not just a paranoid patatoe I'm carrying but the context, I saw younger men who have probably fought and lost and seen things they should never have to see. Do things, they should never have to do... and older families mainly men... its cold, whiteness, where do you go?

Conversations - direct & Collective

Going backwards and forwards and the day mashes together.. heavy text madness as I mistake some timings and am caught in the midst of Patrick and Nanook and Lisa and her 8.5months ness meeting to take some rushes. The guilt? What do I stop? What do I start? I can't work by text? I am..

Lisa has rushes of Felicity, Harry, Karen & Tony aiming to transcribe by next Friday. I need to check if uni lends out laptops, it would make it easier for her. (ask on facebook? Intimate but not direct to anyone, just everyone!). She is also keen on 3 screens.. use of black screen white text to expose some backdrops...give dates, historical Tory speeches, interwoven. Will see whats missing from what we want to expose, discuss and shine a light upon. What happened in an obvious politicial way to the other layers of what happens, the personal changes and challenges.

MUSIC: I have a thing about spoons, Terry Fields ex MP, played the spoons at the end of gatherings, folky, round, practical, alive! Also both of like the idea of some massive attack, something from Blue lines. Tony mentioned Factory did a fundraiser with the Fall for the 47, chaos?! Maybe a bit of o classical... Old tapes of Paragonz, Spontaneous, etc.

EDIT: Lisa still keen to learn FCP and also do this and in some ways so am I, gets closer to the footage and creative process but hands, fucking hands, fucked.. not fucked just. Earlier Chris E from LSBU said if I send through a treatment there might be a camera or editor they could recommend. Would like someone to sound mix too. Though Maxim from Cam Branch might be good, good politics and also amazing time lapse footage.

CONTEXT: Both agreed we would like relevance visualised, events and lobbies via Pete M or Creative Commons agreements. Also to include the recent 25000 redundancies in Sheffield and others in Brum. Compare and contrast with the tactical use by Liverpool to give them more time, though this was used to further attack the 47. Images of black cabs, redundancy has to be discussed and why. Note what the mainstream story is and what is beneath the surface. Be god to get interview of Derek H and Jackie. Would be mad not to have Derek in there, if anyone knows about what went on, they will know of him and perhaps re-interview some to deepen the information, or speaking whilst outdoors, doing things.. Context of industrial action, Wapping, GCHQ.

Other footage - Ask John Kennedy and also keep him posted about our project.

FUNDING & CONTRACTs: collaberative contracts for all those involved, net profit based on role/time used. Maybe Sophie or an Arts Manager who wants to focus on Film... develop fundraising model and distribution or database elements. Lots of tasks but be good to have some skills that are developed not just to be developed. More skills and focus on me than just on others.

Chris also told me there was a history to 3 screens from pre Renaissance.

Look at Bill viola The passing - 1 screen his child, one him in water and the third his mother, dying. (makes me think about Last picture of you, another unfinished project...)

3 is also an important number

Film: TIMECODE

Chantal Akermann - 70's

Storytelling technique 'News from home'

Image in frame is scanned.

Reading suggestions from Chris E:

Film - Andrea Arnold (Red Road)

Exhibtion - Surviellance & the State @ tate (is that possible this week???)

Consider sensor projections... interactive... ?? What does that bring or give?

Perhaps a place that people could record their own memories of the 47 or what was going on then and now?? Youtube with camera in computer, an old version of the voxpop?

Consider how the 3 screens will relate to each other, what dialogues? abstract? representational, add layers? Why not a traditional narrative? What is the relationship between form and content? The form won't allow me the layers I would like to see and process to be reflected. Somethings of ti, somethings of Lis, somethings of us...

(add some texts or comments of process? I can't work by texts? Comments on facebook?)

When - JAN Draft test space, rushes interwoven in lab.. how does this work? How could it work?

If I was to distribute Dave's work - Key cities, Liverpool, Manchester, London, Coventry, Brum, Sheffield, Kirklees, Cardiff. As part of discussion for anti cuts alliances? Mayday?

Housing - 'London planners from Evening Standard

This got a big plug from people I know on Facebook, Evening Standard particularly this:

The most distinctive feature of the militant Left's rule of Liverpool in the Eighties was its impact on urban renewal. Responding to the local public, the council smashed most of the hated towers to the ground and left neighbourhood groups to plan their replacements. The result was no more decks, stairwells and broken lifts set in windy parks, as dictated by professional architects. Instead people decided to revert to terrace houses, like those taken from them in the Sixties. It was an object lesson in democracy.

Cinematography @LSBU - People, place, space

Was always drawn by this session but scared, dam scared that I would want the detail, want what the real options offered me but they're not options are they?! I can't afford to get lost in detail... I can. I can and I can chose that too.

We had SONY XDCAM PMW-EX3 - shoots 60fps and has a lot of extras and lenses which give me film quality at 1/3 of the price. We tested out lenses to see and feel the differences in small groups. Much more fineky... and filters which could shift lift, adapt light and move light. One filter which would be good to use would be the polarising one, which is shooting from the outside in, from outside a car or bus and to take off the reflections. Got to touch a camera and lense or two.. was good, the quality, the control....

With the class who I did FCP with which is funny, they seem nice and I remember one or two.
Tutor is gentle and was interested in the project I was doing, her partner was the son of a miner and from Derbyshire and what that meant.. so much to say and do. The layers. She is open to share and interested, good to share the ideas and see how and what people think about them and what they might want to contribute. The energy the possibilities. Saw GK too, the man who runs all the technical things here and more. He had encouraged me to take more of the undergraduate modules which he could see from the footage I would have a better understanding of the work I was creating and how and why. To develop an ability to understand and articulate the astethic which is a key part of this piece, the form and content are important. Not just one. One without the other would not make sense and would deny the context and contexts within which we operate.

She showed us Ak - Seven Samouri -(just changed this link, wiki talk about it better than imbd which is commercial titles not why or who. it tells me/ us more not selling us the product but the process, context and how it made a difference to his career and where it is in relation to others). who used mainly long lenses, this gave the background and foreground equal balance, like in Japanese art. Makes the context more or more equal. Its not just this character, this but this is also part of that and that is moving too, together. A dialectical relationship, movement is important to me.

Suggested two key books:
Grammor of the shot - Thompson
Cinematography: Theory and practice - Brown 2002

Today is interesting.. a few days ago Dave Photographer who has some amazing pictures of Liverpool at key points, including the 47 and dockers emailed. He is thinking of doing 2 slideshows with speakers, recounting memories and stories from that time. One is a docker and another from the 47.... funny how things far and close begin to merge.

Just spoke and he is putting in a proposal to WOW and hoping to get them to arrange the event in Liverpool. It would be good, but also in other key cities.. this is what we did, could do and discuss our worlds.

So easy for me now to think about his project and getting that out there.. but I need to do what I was going to do.. though the two are very interlinked. Standing alone pieces will be some of the same story and add layers with a Q & A. I want more women profiled too, what they say, what they do.. but his work is amazing and my technique and skills are slow and painful. Do you give up on your projects because others are more skilled? Be interesting to see how this flows. Have sent D the updated proposal and see how he responds. Also need to send it to Chris from Uni and maybe Sophie, external influences.. but also I want a Producer, co-producer.. work with me...

Title - which also reflects content...

After super vision... and book throwing things.

I didn't take my plan with me but the main question, what is this research project to be marked on.. what is it that your expecting of me. The use of the film, why film etc or the themes and ideas underlying it.

Responses and conversation, gentle but film and open.

• Underpin critical theory on area of investigation MEMORY, Objectivity - got to mention this again. Perhaps I include the footage and news that was against the 47 so this is one small space to speak and it doesnt have to speak for the others but in way responds indirectly to the mediation. Representing and Performing Resistance. I wanted to hit him, he was so patronising but! Local issue globalised, within global economic turnmoil. How can past and present theories inform practice and then back to develop theory. PEDDDDDDDDDagogeeeeeeee!
  
• Learning - How am I learning and reflecting on the work, critically and how is that informing the work. I learn and shift and conform with and without you.
  
• Reseach = rushes, how and why made, challenges, considerations. Experiement with forms or why certain forms are chosen.Why do I need to do stills too, what does that allow me? to speak. Consider Media and representation of that time - links to Objectivity and ideas of that, look for Trotsky quote on that in L47 Book by Taffee and Mulhern.
• Research the area and experiment with tools used and what impact might that have.. 2 edits of the same piece or research from say work creates two possibilities.
  
• Documentary practice - why form, why style? What does it presume of the audience? Would the Liverpool lot not be more accepting of a layered type of doc, less obvious, less representative. If we confrorm to a mainstream style of documentary what might we loose in this process? Loose of our words, ways and beings.. narrative structure.. 'excludes areas of enquiry', ' Does the medium then become the message'.
  
• Interview methods, questions before hand, consideration if your not happy we dont have to use it. Men and women seperately, men still set up, books behind, theories behind the ideas, ideologically driven. What they know, what the women might say? How they might talk over the females. Perhaps though one person would benefit from a group setting, performing how he should be to how he is. When comfortable he changed.. opened up.
  
• Ethical thinking on work, why its done, how its done, intention, sharing.
  
• Rushes using digital technolgoy to share, to transcribe.
• Facebook finding Felicity and noting info on 47 and sharing with others.
  
• Asked ?, Can it be practical outcome for the research module? Will what I do speak of what I have done? What I intended.. what I thought about, what I tried. Or do I have to write to be concious? Could I hand in 5 minutes of rushes, 5 photos, 5 pages of blog? Layered approach to researching and also
• Another influence as I write this walks in. I like that, the voices, the lack of isolation. Will it be just books thrown at me, towards me? Can I learn by doing in isolation? Readin in isolation, forgetting and remembering.. over and over again. You know I can't. He, one of the he's I spoke to also needed to talk about the work to, not just the theories around it. Is it about the technique or content or is it about both? I want and need both.. And about the skills that are needed, to start again or redo whilst working. I need you both practical and theory people. I need and want you both for it to make sense to me. One relates to another.. to another and back again.
  
  

Suggested Reading

The history of memory - small chapter on Karl Marx (The past and present). 146 - 50 Dialectical

Women witnessing terror - A Cubille. Witness becomes performance. ' To tell is to resist

Get Brit Library Card - Sound archives. Need letter from Anna, easier to get as a student.

Fuller schedule to lead into the 10th Dec.

From my original proposal I had said:

I would research and explore how industrial resistance is represented.
Within that role of culture, women, is creativity a solitary process?
Additionally - What is history and what is memory?

Site of production:
47 & its relevance today. With a collective or more traditional

New media
Ability to research some information online
How is New Media being used and not being used?
How can it and has it helped and hindered?
Does it democratise through its potential or is that on a level playing field?
Do interviews at a more costly method - Transcribe.
Begin to share information on 47 Facebook, Rooftop Collective, At events, With people

Research - What Am I researching the method I am using? Film and photography and way I am using it? And or the content of the practical project which is a method of looking, examining and considering this work.
Method - film - Audio Visual, distribution key issue and personal challenge.
Why Film? Will new media allow for wider audiences? E.gs of happening but also limited, e.g.
Within Classes - Editing & Montage Plus
What audience and how will an audience be engaged?

Previous proposal suggested:
public and content analysis, social institution, media fx knowlege = experimental?
All four combined time consuming but are in some ways in process with this project.
Previous opinions, content of past archives and mainstream knowledge, fx - ? If I tell you something new or ask you a question how does that develop or engage you?

What - Representing Resistance: Performing Resistance (second part added via DR)
Industrial - This has now changed and developed to wider to encompass political. Why, not just industrial struggles, industrial struggles come from political choices and ideas.

Who I want to involve?
Women - Female co-director/producer
Interviewees: Cathy, Karen, Tina, Felecity (plus Tony A & Harry S)

Who has done this type of work before and currently:

• Cinema action? woman who made work beaver?
  
• Black filmakers collective - John A - also did recent work on memory but also made key work Handsworth songs.
• Past womens cultural resistance - do I need to identify this. Woolfe, Plath, Kollanti? Dialectical approach to ideas - economic and feelings (proposal pg 7)
  

Interview them or find secondary data on these?

REAL WORLD CONTEXT Wider political:
My involvements BECTU, UNITe, NSSN, student... influencing factors to what information I hold and have access to but also

SELF dircted learning:
Requested and attended modules - skills and theory
DSA - Bad to work alone and be a reading based MA, learning about self
Learning through use of blogs, read back, hold info, share possibility,
Meetings - James and V
Tutorials

I learn by doing so what have I learnt so far:
To ask,
To explore
To be open
To use you words that now don't just hurt me mentally they have a physical pain.. and rsi creeps back onto the platform and effects centre stage.

Am I researching the project or the methods and theories around tghe product?

Dys - Needs assessment tomorrow

Ahhh and I haven't thought about it. What do I need? What would make a difference? Don't know, do know..

This was interesting though - Management of dyslexia

"Especially for undergraduates, some consideration of what 'reading' is and what it is for can be useful. There are techniques (reading the first sentence [and/or last] of each paragraph in a chapter, for example) which can give an overview of content. This can be sufficient for some purposes. Since stress and anxiety are contributors to a dyslexic's weaknesses in absorbing information, removing these can assist in improving understanding. When a dyslexic knows that not every reading experience must be onerous, it greatly helps their mental approach to the task.

e best approaches acknowledge that the objective in helping to improve a dyslexic's 'reading' is not to 'read-like-a-non-dyslexic-does', but to find a way of extracting information from text that works efficiently for someone who processes such information differently from the majority."

And then some of the crappy news: Students on the breadline - waiting for DSA

1. Proofing, planning, how to read when I forget things in seconds..
2. Scanning
3. Organisational skills
4. Software and person to person instruction on software
5. Hardware?
6. Print and photocopy

Still taking photos...

For the symposium I mainly prepared what was my project, finally, and where I was at. I had a few interviews I intended to show little parts of, so we could hear together the stories. The memories, history, in detail that was beginning to piece together.

So here is a video, or powerpoint, of some of the photos I took. Probably importantly there is so much skyline. Looking at the stars, the breadth of what the 47 were struggling for and gained, things and thoughts that had not even begun in so many other places. And of one or two women, one who is working with me and another who maybe would like to, but is really important to have in the work. Originally she didn't want to be interviewed but on the last day of the shoot she agreed, she glowed and engaged so well. It was quite moving. She worried her memory would let her down, and she didn't speak like the other political people. That's not the style I wanted, not the only style. Women, I think speak differently and I like that and want that. Politics is ours, this world, the everyday, the everything is ours. We could and should talk of it however we wish. My challenge was how to make the invisible visible but in the process and chats with her.. she grew to feel more confident and will be within this.

I spoke for a few seconds to Daniel R after his session on power, all the way through I wanted to through something like a spoilt brat. Do you think we are thick? Don't you think we understand power operates beyond the obvious? And are Fouc and Choms the only ones? Marxism and dialectics is within this.. is within the relationship of structures power, or where the powers are but some of us are less conscious or confident of our powers and abilities.

He made it seem there was a choice of only seeing the state and government or seeing power in how it manifests itself everyday. It is both. It is both.

I realised lots of others got into his session and M was understated in her questions though they were sharp and unearthing, I think he didn't even realise this. Never underestimate M, she is a layered person with so much more than many people realise.

But I caught D on the way out, or so I thought, out of the room. And said I would like to talk to him, he suggested going to his room but that wasn't possible. He then asked what I was doing, I said REPRESENTING RESISTANCE, he said F would have said PERFORMING RESISTANCE. Not sure I agree that one stands against the other but together, together as a participant in this and more, it is both. And if nothing else but a need for me to reflect on my shameless anger.. I have that now. 4 words that say so much more. By attempting to represent, I perform and I am with all the conversations that have gone on..

Sympose...looking in and out

so if I just write, right now?

And what happens? No plan, no draft. Just me, and you here. The words come up and out and slither across the page. What do I want to say right now? About today, perhaps?

We had presentations to update on our projects and it was good and hard to hear others. Good, because of intimacy, the humour, the variety and hard, because everyone sounds so much more like the can contextualise their work in this setting far more than me. I don't have your words, and you don't have mine.

I got grumpy, stroppy perhaps as I got questioned about my use of words and style in a draft one page about the project. Cheeky I thought, you don't know me but are desperate to say something? It clearly showed an ideological viewpoint that there was objectivity if you write with a more 'passive tone'. Passive aggressive rule the world... or have done!

Ok learning - no need to get grumpy as I will get accused of being the aggressive one. The question could have been returned back, do you think there is such a thing as objective? Do I have to tame every word? Do I extract every bit of life from me to fit you and your world? Perhaps I would live more comfortably if I did, perhaps...

Representing Resistance is not about pretending. Its about shining a light on areas of our life's hidden, distorted and continually suppressed. I want the light too, I need that light, the dark, brutal world that I feel and see too often, is only part of it, part of the possibility of what we are or could be. Don't make me pretend like you.

Objective & The standard vs the RMT

Housing and 47

Housing was important then as it is now. Affordable and the mainly unaffordable. Looking for examples of what was built in the 1980's but the 83-87 council and I cant find a list - Apparently Croxteth was a key area. Also the 'pigeries'? Just spoke to Harry S and he said if you look at the new builds and see Chimneys, the ones with chimneys are ours!

In SEP - Found out from Felecity, another of the 47, that the reason the houses were built with chimeys is due to the Miners Strike that was going on at the time. Supporting the use of that fuel and the workers.